The “Missing Link”: Mentoring and Eating Disorders Recovery

Shannon Cutts

Mentoring. Eating disorders. These are two phrases that are not often found in each other’s company. When it comes to eating disorders, undeniably the most deadly and quite possibly the most misunderstood of all mental illness-related disorders, discussions of the prognosis remain rather more grim than hopeful. Yet we are gaining in our knowledge of this complex disease every day. Scientific research is ever more conclusively solidifying our understanding of eating disorders as one part biological brain imbalance, one part environmentally-triggered arrested self-development. The brain imbalance we are only now beginning to understand and identify solutions for. Yet we have had workable, effective strategies for self-development for centuries…most of which involve nothing more complicated than pairing a wiser, stronger individual with an individual who is struggling for the purposes of facilitating growth. In today’s lingo, we often refer to this pairing as “mentoring”. What occurs when an eating disorder first strikes is that the sufferer’s emotional growth and development stops dead in its tracks. Like lightening striking, the demands of the disease cut a wide swathe through everything grey that stands in between the white of health and the black of weight management. The individual becomes consumed with juggling the demands of the angry inner voice and, alternately, the worrisome and worried feedback from family and friends. What is needed is a mediator. A moderator. Someone to stand on the sufferer’s side and speak to them in favor of health and life again. The mentor enters the picture at this critical moment – just when the sufferer is about to give up. No longer can they clearly picture life without the eating disorder. No longer do they recall what they were trying to recover for. No longer are they willing to believe in their own ability to get better – yet for some reason they simply cannot stop hoping altogether. This is when the mentor, like the proverbial warrior prince on a white stallion, gallops by. Stops. Reaches a hand down. And says, simply, “Hurry – hop on!” What isn’t seen is that a few yards later, the mentor stops the horse, helps the sufferer down, and begins the first lesson in Horse Riding 101. Mentoring can occur within the context of many different types of relationships. Some individuals find their mentor in a member of their recommended full treatment team – therapist, psychiatrist, nutritionist, medical doctor. Other sufferers meet their mentor in support groups. The common bond that forms between mentor and mentee forms irrespective of all else save one simple fact – the mentor has stood in the sufferer’s shoes, knows how it feels, has done the hard work recovery requires, and has experienced triumph over life’s toughest challenges. The mentor thus becomes the catalyst for the mentee’s determination to heal to begin to outweigh the diseased mind’s determination to eradicate all that is unlike itself. With the living, breathing proof of the mentor as North Star, the mentee gets up, dusts off, and walks forward with renewed confidence and commitment to do whatever it takes to break free. In the Twelve Step program of Alcoholics Anonymous, arguably the most successful of all sobriety programs, recovery success is predicated upon the newcomer to recovery, the sponsee, working all twelve steps with an experienced recoveree, the sponsor. In one business research study sponsored by Diversity, Inc., retention rates were 72% for new hires that participated in the company-sponsored mentoring program, compared with 49% for those who did not participate. Children Uniting Nations, a governmental organization that works with at-risk youth, reported 59% of mentored teens receive better grades in school and have a better chance of going on to receive higher education. While we do not yet have statistics to support the efficacy of adding a mentor to the eating disorders treatment team, we can learn all we need to know about the need for and power of mentoring through listening to the stories of survivors who have had the benefit of a mentor’s wisdom and guidance: [Finding an eating disorders mentor] has really been that missing link for me. It's like I can actually use my skills and everything I've learned in treatment and with my therapist because I know I'm supported. When I'm struggling I know I can get online or make a call. I have hope now that I personally know more people that have really recovered. -Katie Shannon Cutts is first and foremost a survivor of a fifteen-year battle with anorexia and bulimia. Today, she is an international speaker and founder/director of MentorCONNECT, the first global online mentoring community created specifically for those in recovery from eating disorders. Shannon is the author of Beating Ana: How to Outsmart Your Eating Disorder and Take Your Life Back (Health Communications, Inc.) which chronicles her experiences of first being mentored and later becoming a mentor. She also blogs for Gurze Books and the Huffington Post. Visit her at www.key-to-life.com

Mentoring. Eating disorders. These are two phrases that are not often found in each other’s company. When it comes to eating disorders, undeniably the most deadly and quite possibly the most misunderstood of all mental illness-related disorders, discussions of the prognosis remain rather more grim than hopeful. Yet we are gaining in our knowledge of this complex disease every day. Scientific research is ever more conclusively solidifying our understanding of eating disorders as one part biological brain imbalance, one part environmentally-triggered arrested self-development. The brain imbalance we are only now beginning to understand and identify solutions for. Yet we have had workable, effective strategies for self-development for centuries…most of which involve nothing more complicated than pairing a wiser, stronger individual with an individual who is struggling for the purposes of facilitating growth. In today’s lingo, we often refer to this pairing as “mentoring”. What occurs when an eating disorder first strikes is that the sufferer’s emotional growth and development stops dead in its tracks. Like lightening striking, the demands of the disease cut a wide swathe through everything grey that stands in between the white of health and the black of weight management. The individual becomes consumed with juggling the demands of the angry inner voice and, alternately, the worrisome and worried feedback from family and friends. What is needed is a mediator. A moderator. Someone to stand on the sufferer’s side and speak to them in favor of health and life again. The mentor enters the picture at this critical moment – just when the sufferer is about to give up. No longer can they clearly picture life without the eating disorder. No longer do they recall what they were trying to recover for. No longer are they willing to believe in their own ability to get better – yet for some reason they simply cannot stop hoping altogether. This is when the mentor, like the proverbial warrior prince on a white stallion, gallops by. Stops. Reaches a hand down. And says, simply, “Hurry – hop on!” What isn’t seen is that a few yards later, the mentor stops the horse, helps the sufferer down, and begins the first lesson in Horse Riding 101. Mentoring can occur within the context of many different types of relationships. Some individuals find their mentor in a member of their recommended full treatment team – therapist, psychiatrist, nutritionist, medical doctor. Other sufferers meet their mentor in support groups. The common bond that forms between mentor and mentee forms irrespective of all else save one simple fact – the mentor has stood in the sufferer’s shoes, knows how it feels, has done the hard work recovery requires, and has experienced triumph over life’s toughest challenges. The mentor thus becomes the catalyst for the mentee’s determination to heal to begin to outweigh the diseased mind’s determination to eradicate all that is unlike itself. With the living, breathing proof of the mentor as North Star, the mentee gets up, dusts off, and walks forward with renewed confidence and commitment to do whatever it takes to break free. In the Twelve Step program of Alcoholics Anonymous, arguably the most successful of all sobriety programs, recovery success is predicated upon the newcomer to recovery, the sponsee, working all twelve steps with an experienced recoveree, the sponsor. In one business research study sponsored by Diversity, Inc., retention rates were 72% for new hires that participated in the company-sponsored mentoring program, compared with 49% for those who did not participate. Children Uniting Nations, a governmental organization that works with at-risk youth, reported 59% of mentored teens receive better grades in school and have a better chance of going on to receive higher education. While we do not yet have statistics to support the efficacy of adding a mentor to the eating disorders treatment team, we can learn all we need to know about the need for and power of mentoring through listening to the stories of survivors who have had the benefit of a mentor’s wisdom and guidance: [Finding an eating disorders mentor] has really been that missing link for me. It’s like I can actually use my skills and everything I’ve learned in treatment and with my therapist because I know I’m supported. When I’m struggling I know I can get online or make a call. I have hope now that I personally know more people that have really recovered. -Katie Shannon Cutts is first and foremost a survivor of a fifteen-year battle with anorexia and bulimia. Today, she is an international speaker and founder/director of MentorCONNECT, the first global online mentoring community created specifically for those in recovery from eating disorders. Shannon is the author of Beating Ana: How to Outsmart Your Eating Disorder and Take Your Life Back (Health Communications, Inc.) which chronicles her experiences of first being mentored and later becoming a mentor. She also blogs for Gurze Books and the Huffington Post. Visit her at <a href="http://www.key-to-life.com">www.key-to-life.com</a>

2009-08-06T17:15:35Z

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The “Missing Link”: Mentoring and Eating Disorders Recovery