i need help

hello my name is Ahmed i am 24 years old i lost my father at young age (7 years old) since that day my life change i start doing house chore and family work at that age so i don’t go out much or play outside i was late on news that every one on my age should know like what the new song, movie or video game and stuff . when i talk about my life sometime people think i lying and that i am kid life is easy but it is not for me that is i face the cruel fact that people in market sometime try to steal from you i lost about 50$ i give him 50 and i thought it was 20 so when try to give me back and i said i didn’t give you that much he smirks and plays along after i return home i found that he tricked me at this young age how should i know stuff like that and i also have younger brothers and sisters (2,2) two of them are disable so you can see i start life harsh and see the ugly face of life but that didn’t stop me i lived my life as much as i can but i had some events (that i wouldn’t like to talk about in public) make me change to the worst and i start feel depressed and sad most of the time and somehow guilt for i guess “the events” and sometime i say why live sometime i feel like nothing worth it and what make it more i haven’t done anything i feel proud of and that people who never struggle as i did can walk their way through life easily and i am still late on my studies and i feel left behind and to add it up i never was ahead in anything at all sometime i wounder is this who i am that this my destiny and i couldn’t even help my family much which make me feel more depressed and sad i really sometime say i don’t want to live any more and stuff like that i have no hope or something to look up to in the near future.
sorry for writting such long post but i had to get out of my chest.

P.S. i hide my emotion because i have hard time contorting them and sometime i have crazy ideas just to forget and with time my memory grow weak and i cant focus or think straight (think clearly) i have no control over my diet and my sexual urges too.

Hi Aba. Welcome. Thank you for sharing. I’m glad you are reaching out. I can hear the hurt in your words, and it’s very good to get things off your chest. I’d like to chat some more with you …

If you could change just one thing about your past, what would it be? What do you imagine this change could bring you?

When you think of the future, can you imagine creating a different life?

What would it be like to let go of Guilt and be Free to just be in the present with no regrets?

What are your three greatest strengths?

I’ll be here!

Looking forward to hearing back.

Warmly,

Nova

If you could change just one thing about your past, what would it be? What do you imagine this change could bring you?
i would change the fact my father died, for starter i can have normal start and childhood i well be worrying about small things and not big life matters like bills or can i affored that or not and just live normaly

When you think of the future, can you imagine creating a different life?
if nothing changed i guess not

What would it be like to let go of Guilt and be Free to just be in the present with no regrets?
that well make me having less time being down and more postive i guess

What are your three greatest strengths?

1) i have a big heart some time i forgive people who shouldn’t be forgiven becuase they are just nasty and mean to everybody but i still find forgiveness on my heart and hold no gurdge and that i guess becuase if i get angrey or hold a grudge i might loss control over my emotion.

2)becuase what i have been through i can understand other people problem more becuase i live some of them and the gray hair i have on my head is the prove that i have struggle and worried alot and i can understand the stress and what else comes with it when facing these challenges.

3)i help anyone (i know ) who need help no matter what is the cost i want make life easier for others so my life can be easier (karma).

i haven’t had any comment for about day now if someone reading this please i really do need some advice or support at the least

Hi Aba. Thank you for your answers. :) I’m online every Wednesday, so be sure to get online and chat with me then, okay?

The power to forgive is wonderful. I get the feeling that you have been wronged significantly … tell me more about what you went through and the feelings you are still left with.

I’m so sorry you lost your father at a young age. Yes, you were robbed of experiences with him loosing him so young. If he were here listening, what would you tell him now? What do you wish you had the opportunity to do with him the most?

I know life’s been a struggle for you. Keep hope Aba that you CAN create the life you want. But first you have to define what that looks like. You have to see what you are striving for. Push away any restrictions and tell me, what is the life you DREAM of?

The strengths you list are wonderful. A big heart, understanding, and helpful. Amazing.

I’ll check back to see your responses this weekend, okay?

I’m here for you.

Warmly,

Nova

tell me more about what you went through and the feelings you are still left with.

1. my father death still wish he was here to make my life easy.
2. being late on my studies make me feel alone and left behind.
3. the fact when i sit with someone my age i don’t have a common subject (like the newst music or movie or video game and stuff) make me feel unwanted and being isolated from the outside world.

• and some other issues i dont feel like discussing in public maybe in email (mine is ahmed2010_15@hotmail.com)

If he were here listening, what would you tell him now? What do you wish you had the opportunity to do with him the most?
that i love him and miss him so much
come to my high school graduation party

what is the life you DREAM of?
to have normal struggles like any average person and to have a career that can make my life and my family life easier and to have pet (fish or cat) and to have my own family (wife and children) and be thin (i am 220 lbs)

Hi Aba. Thank you so much for your answers. I’m sorry you are hurting so much. The first step to feeling better is reaching out, and you’ve done that here. Good job! I’m glad you are with us and can share here.

Do you ever feel your dad is with you in spirit? I am sure he will be so proud when you graduate. Are you graduating this year? It’s a big step into adulthood.

Education is such a wonderful gift, and no one can ever take it away. Try not to worry so much that you feel “behind.” You are comparing yourself to what you believe others levels are presently. The wonderful thing about life is you can do anything on your own time. Life is not a race, it is a journey. Your journey has had some big bumps in the road to start with, but you’ve persevered. What are your plans after graduation?

The life you dream of sounds very attainable. :) What’s one step you can take toward accomplishing your dreams in the present? Would you like to exercise more? How active are you? It really helps with depression to get outside and be active, even going for a walk in nature is wonderful for your mood. Would you be willing to make some goals with fitness?

Are you interested or dating anyone right now?

If you could have any career, what would you choose?

Pets are wonderful. I have 4. They love you unconditionally and it’s so nice to care for someone. A fish would be good start, is it possible to get a cute fish right now? The fish could represent your new beginning in caring for yourself and others. :)

Looking forward to hearing back.

Warmly,

Nova

Do you ever feel your dad is with you in spirit?
yeah sometimes

Are you graduating this year?
from high school that was 6 years ago but my bachelor degree graduation go be in the first trem next year

What are your plans after graduation?

1. working on big firm maybe an oil company
2. finding my soul-mate and start a family
3. move to my own place i live with rest of my family

What’s one step you can take toward accomplishing your dreams in the present?
finish my bachelor degree

Would you like to exercise more?
Yes i would love to.

How active are you?
not very much beside house chore and everyday things (go to university, get item for shopping mall , …)

Would you be willing to make some goals with fitness?
Yes but i don’t follow through after few days i give up the diet or the fitness program

Are you interested or dating anyone right now?
Yes but i don’t think i am ready yet i need to get my life in order first so i won’t give her hard start or don’t pay attention to her needs i want her to be on good start also my family i want their life easy and good

If you could have any career, what would you choose?
CEO of a firm or a head of branch

is it possible to get a cute fish right now?
Yes maybe in a month or so after i clean my room and stuff

Hi Aba. Thanks for your notes, you have some great ideas! So let’s talk a little bit about what’s keeping you back. When you think about some of the things you want to do to feel better (finding a friend, cleaning your room, exercising a bit more), what about it seems really hard?

When you think about some of the things you want to do to feel better (finding a friend, cleaning your room, exercising a bit more), what about it seems really hard

1. time i don’t have much of free time and if i do i well be very tired and low on energy.
2. i need to catch up with who is in my level so i don’t think i can make bond unless i reach what my akin (my equals) have reached before me.
3. and i guess because i don’t have normal life style i can’t look after myself i have to put my family first because i am the only hope they got which is anyone can guess its heavy burden to carry specially when you start doing it in young age.

5 days and still no comment i hope i am not been forgotten

Hi Aba. Thanks for your note, sorry tonot get back to you sooner, it’s been a very busy week. So as I look at your list, it definitely sounds like it’s hard for you to find time for yourself and even harder for you to devote any time to taking care of yourself, does this sound right?

If so, I’d like to give you a little push to make some time every day to do things that you enjoy. It doesn’t have to be a lot of time, maybe only 20-30 minutes, but it does have to happen every day. The reason why is that you will run out of energy to take care of anyone else if you are not taking care of yourself. So let’s start to think creatively….what can you do each day to feel better?

some what is true. it is more like i am tired from doing this i feel like i have a child locked inside me for very long time and he want out to care less, think less, worry less and just have fun that he (the locked child) missed all these years
what can you do each day to feel better?
watch TV , eat? , play a game , …

Hi Aba. Wonderful Answers!! Thank you for sharing.

That’s so fantastic that you are finishing your Bachelor’s Degree. Hooray! Congratulations! A very big accomplishment and I’m sure your dad is so proud of you as he joins you in spirit during this special time.

You are embarking on a new chapter in your life. A very exciting time, and also it can be a bit overwhelming.

I’d suggest getting out there and dating. Don’t wait because you feel like you need things to be perfect. Get out there and have some fun! That’s part of letting that “inner” you out for others to see. Surround yourself with as many positive people as you are able. Dating is a time to figure out what you need in a partner and also to discover more about yourself.

Start a physical activity that you can follow through with. Just walking 30 minutes a day, really makes a difference in your health and emotional state. Get outside, take in your surroundings, be at peace, and know you taking good care of yourself in the process.

Let’s start cleaning out that room! Being organized and eliminating clutter will help you feel more motivated.

I really like the goals you have stated for yourself. See, you CAN see your future!! Now, you just need to move toward your Preferred Life. You can do it. I believe in you.

With Care,

Nova